It's For Sinners

¹ "Come, everyone who thirsts,
come to the waters;
and he who has no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without price.
² Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,
and your labor for that which does not satisfy?
Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,
and delight yourselves in rich food.
³Incline your ear, and come to me;
hear, that your soul may live;
and I will make with you an everlasting covenant,
my steadfast, sure love for David.
Isaiah 55:1-3

Something that really touched my heart a few weeks ago during worship at church was that every one of us singing is a redeemed sinner. That every one of us was praising to the God who saved us while we were still ungodly. It hit me that as much as I'm excited about going to heaven and meeting other Christians who've come before me (my great-grandparents, the Apostle Paul, famous missionaries etc.) and as much as they deserve honor and respect for the lives they lived, ultimately we will all be praising the God who saved us not because of anything of worth in us, but because of his amazing grace.

Last Sunday, I went up to Cornell on Saturday with my mom to bring stuff up to Caleb and Ruth. We had planned to leave for NYC on Sunday morning right after dropping them off at church. When we made a last minute decision to stay for Sunday service in Ithaca, I was kind of upset. I had planned in my mind already to get home, take a nap, and then get ready for service at night. I hadn't expected this morning service, I didn't feel prepared for it, and I was looking forward to not going to 2 services this Sunday (as I have been recently).

My heart's been struggling and hardening in terms of church recently, and as I sat through service in Ithaca, I was thinking about asking my mom for the keys and going to sit in the car and clear my head/pray on my own. Even through the message, my heart felt hard and I was thinking about whether there are any options of taking a break from church, whether there is a Biblical basis for Sunday worship, etc. It totally was not the pastor's fault and in reflecting on his message, I was really blessed afterward. The message was God-centered vs. Self-centered worship (fitting eh?), and preached with much grace and truth. When I saw that we were going to have communion too, I was just thinking about how much longer that would make the service. Obviously, my heart was not in the right place.

When it came time for communion, knowing my hard and un-worshipful heart, I thought about passing the bread and cup. I was sitting next to my mom and Caleb so I knew they'd notice, but I decided that didn't matter because I didn't have the right heart. Then I thought, "well, I guess everyone will know that I'm messed up." At that moment, I think the Holy Spirit stirred up my heart to think, "Wait..that's what we declare every time we take communion. That's what everyone who's taking the bread and cup is saying. 'I'm messed up..and that's why I need Jesus.'" My heart was hard and sinful, that's why I needed even more the cross of Jesus for my forgiveness and righteousness.

In one service during communion, instead of having the congregation confess sins as the bread and cup was passed, the pastor said that we'd already had a time of confession in service and so exhorted us to instead spend our time thanking God for the cross of Christ. I forget sometimes after having taken communion so long that what gets me ready for receiving is not my list of how repentant I am or how holy I feel, but that it's an act of faith that Jesus Christ died for me while I was still a wretched sinner. It's not about summoning emotional feelings of guilt (not that deep, heartfelt repentance isn't needed, but my focus isn't on my emotions). It's humbly declaring that I need Jesus' blood to wash me. This service in Ithaca, I wasn't weeping and it didn't feel dramatic, but as I held onto the bread, I felt like I was clinging to the cross and the Gospel of Jesus Christ in a deeper way than ever before.

I remembered a story that I heard about a Scottish (?) preacher who was serving communion. There was a weeping woman there who refused to take it, to which he replied "Take it Lassie, it's for sinners." That's what I need to remember. Every time I'm taking communion. Every time I'm listening to a message and feel the pressure of not living up to the standards of his Word. My first response isn't meant to be "Ok. I'll change." But, that every surfaced sin and way I fall short is pointed out to bring me to Jesus Christ. The One who lived out perfectly and resisted the temptation that I caved in to. The One to died for me because of that sin. And the One whose resurrection means that I now have power by the Holy Spirit to change.

Thankful for my professor's paraphrase of Isaiah 55 that I quoted a while ago here:

"Thirsty? Come. Come, and don’t bring anything. Don’t bring the laundry list of your contrition. Come, and your soul will be satisfied with the richest of fare."- Prof. Ed Welch