STP blessings

Here are some blessings I want to share about my time at a Summer Training Program. It's not all of them, but some!

Exhortation

"Therefore, do not throw away your confidence which was great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised."
Heb 10:35-36

For one of the Bible studies, we did a study on Hebrews. We did research on the background, outlined the book, and answered questions about it. In two of my classes at WTS, we'd actually covered a good chunk of Hebrews which also helped deepen my understanding of the book and prep me to hear from God through it.

The writer of Hebrews is writing to group of believers who are in danger of apostasy. They are wondering if they should continue on in their faith in Christ and whether because of sin, doubt, and some persecution (though not yet martyrdom), there is a possibility that they may turn away from Christ and fall away. They've all had real experiences with Christ, and even suffered for their faith already (confiscated property, etc.) but have need of endurance. The author writes eloquently and persuasively about the Person and work of Jesus and the superiority of the new covenant and Jesus' ministry as our great high priest who gave himself for us. Throughout the book there are "therefores" and exhortations to grow in maturity, consider God's discipline as part of being his children, and to press on, hold fast the confession of faith, consider Jesus, look to Jesus. There's this struggle of, why keep going? why keep following? And to this, God speaks powerfully.

One thing I've been struggling with is trusting God again wholeheartedly. In the past, my steps of obedience, though difficult, seemed to lead to immediate fruit and "success". But now, struggling about a season of my life that yes, God did use, but at the same time left me deeply struggling and hurting, in my heart I've felt a strong resistance to the idea of radical obedience to Christ. As I read through Hebrews, I felt like my heart was being strengthened . The continual exhortations to look to Jesus, the one who was made perfect in suffering and whose life I am identified with, the reminder that my hope is not placed in human explanations of "why" and visible fruit, but anchored in eternity, and the encouragement that I am not "of those who shrink back" but "of those" whose lives of faith are listed in Hebrews 11, have lifted my soul and encouraged me to move on toward maturity.

Healing
With that in my heart, God also spoke to me through a message on Isaiah 6 that Jeff decided to give last minute, led by the Holy Spirit. He spoke about Isaiah's vision of God on his throne, and about how though God told him that his calling and ministry would be one of destruction to a people who wouldn't listen, he was able to keep going because of that vision. The vision of our Holy God and his call will keep us walking with him when things get tough, not "success". It's about the one who called us, not the impact we see of that calling.

After that we had a prayer time, and the Holy Spirit softened my heart and I found myself crying out to God. I got to the heart of the struggle in my heart about that difficult season of life which was "God, I feel like you left me at the time" and "God, didn't you know how much I could take?" As I wrestled with those things, Jeff prayed over me and gently reminded me of God's truth- that he never left or forsook me. And since being back, God reminded me that Jesus was truly forsaken so that though we may feel like we are forsaken, we never really are.

Helping
I love being a helper and supporter to Jeff! It's encouraging and affirming to see how God has made us differently so that together we can love him and others in ways that alone we may not be able to. Things that he does naturally, I would get a nervous stomachache if I had to do. I love how he is a servant-leader and I enjoy hearing him share from God's Word. He's an example to me in a lot of ways, and through my struggling and then hearing from his heart about tough topics, I've grown in respect for him even in these 2 weeks. It's also fun to be able to spend time together. =)

Laughter
I had a wonderful group of girls and I can't remember the last time I was surrounded by so much laughter and that I laughed so much. It was healing to be in God's presence and in his presence to experience joy. It was good for my heart, especially since I've been lacking in fellowship. I'm so thankful for the gift of laughter.